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How not to start a day

Arthur Graphic-Clarion of Arthur, Illinois

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Wise and Otherwise

While cleaning in the bedroom the other day, I removed things from the headboard so I could dust. In so doing, I noticed I happened to hit the volume on the ringer for my alarm. I use an old cell phone for an alarm clock. No big deal, I thought, how loud could it be?

Come the next morning it was a big deal. I'm not sure what the increase in the decibel level was, but it was loud and startled me awake.

My alarm sound of choice is a rooster crowing, and he had grown exponentially in volume. Trying to grab the alarm with a little more adrenaline than I have on most mornings, I succeeded in knocking it off behind the bed. Still flailing about wildly I managed to send my glasses and the TV remote down there, too, along with the Kleenex box off to the side.

Tumbling out of bed, I got down on my knees, crushing the Klennex box in the process, where I have to use my left hand and contort myself into a rooster-grabbing position.

First thing I found was the remote, but then I grabbed hold of something else...a that is where that went! I'll just turn it on, and then I can see because it is still half dark. It doesn't work. Okay, so back to groping around behind the bed.

Have you seen the commercials where people get up, still looking great, stretching their arms in the air in the perfect morning sunlight and are ready to start the day as soon as their feet hit the floor? I am not one of those people.

However, my dog is one of those people or something like that. She thought this was a brand new game. So as I was stuck halfway behind the headboard, she was licking my feet and barking. The rooster was still crowing, and as I was not a morning person, my amusement level was low.

Finally, I was able to get hold of my glasses, put them on and as per the law of anything you drop, the phone with alarm still going was just out of reach. I had to go under.

The bedframe was my parents and at 5 under the bed made for a great hiding place. At 50, not so much; however, I did manage to get far enough in to grab the phone and turn off the alarm.

I might have been halfway under the bed, I might have wet feet, I might have been having a heart attack, but the rooster was silenced.

I actually laid there for a moment to catch my breath, wait for my heart to quit racing, and, oh look, there is another flashlight down here!

Calm returned, so it was time to drag myself out from under there and get going.

That is when I discovered I had only hit the snooze button... Cockadoodledoo! Cracking head on bed frame is not the way to start the day.

Copyright 2014 Arthur Graphic-Clarion, Arthur, Illinois. All Rights Reserved. This content, including derivations, may not be stored or distributed in any manner, disseminated, published, broadcast, rewritten or reproduced without express, written consent from SmallTownPapers, Inc.

Original Publication Date: July 2, 2014

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