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Along these lines: Political Jokes, Part 2: The Republicans

The Othello Outlook of Othello, Washington

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Mitt Romney's run for the presidency was recently endorsed by the charismatic New Jersey governor Chris Christie. But just how did the influential Christie determine which of the Republican candidates was worthy of his support?

Simple. He invited Romney, along with Rick Perry, Ron Paul, Rick Santorum, John Huntsman and Newt Gingrich on a weekend fishing trip. Whoever displayed the greatest intelligence and resourcefulness, Christie promised to publically endorse.

So early the first morning, the men rent a large pontoon boat and head off to fish. Soon, they run out of bait. So Romney stands up and walks across the water to get some more, bait and returns to the boat the same way.

But'after two hours, they run out of bait again. This time Gingrich says he will get more bait... so he gets up and walks across the water, too.

After another hour of fishing; they run out of bait again. This time, Rick Perry offers to go. So he steps out of the boat and sinks straight to the bottom.

Turning to the others, Romney says, "I guess he didn't see the rocks."

And Christie sends Perry home, unendorsed.

The next morning, the men are up bright and early and head out in the boat to fish again. They have a great day catching plenty of fish. Christie says to the others "This is such a great spot, we need to mark it so we can come back."

Huntsman agrees and proceeds to etch a mark on the side of the boat. "What are you doing, John?" Paul asks.

"Marking the spot," Huntsman replies.

"Don't be stupid!" Paul snaps. "What if we don't get the same boat next time?"

So Huntsman and Paul were both sent home, unendorsed.

Sitting around the campfire that evening, the remaining boys begin talking. "So Rick," Christie says to Santorum, "what did you do about that old car I heard you were trying to sell -- the one that had 250,000 miles on it?"

"Well, I'll tell you, but you must keep this to yourself," Santorum replies. "I took it to a friend who owns a car repair shop. He turned the odometer back 200,000 miles and said I shouldn't have any problems selling the car!"

"Really?" Christie asks. "Well, how much do you think you'll get for it now?"

"Oh, I didn't sell it," Santorum answers. "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

And Santorum was sent home, unendorsed.

Christie, Romney and Gingrich spend the following morning fishing from the riv-erbank. Suddenly, the game warden jumps out from behind the bushes. Immediately, Romney throws his fishing rod down and starts running through the woods at full speed, hotly pursued by the game warden.

After about a mile, Romney collapses to catch his breath and the game warden finally catches up to him. "OK, pal, let's see your fishing license!" the warden demands.

Romney pulls out his wallet and gives the game warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, what's the matter with you?" the astonished the game warden asks. "You have a valid fishing license -- you didn't have to run from me!"

"Yes, sir, I did," replies Mitt. "Christie back there -- who's on his way home by now -- well, he didn't have one."

And that's how Mitt Romney secured Chris Christie's endorsement.

Original Publication Date: January 19, 2012



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